Girls and their toys

This feels like one of those topics that people either overshare about or never mention at all. I definitely fell into the second category for a long time.

Growing up, sex toys seemed like something that belonged in movies or were only for people who were somehow more adventurous than me. It wasn't something my friends talked about, and if it ever came up it was usually as a joke.

Eventually curiosity won.

One thing that surprised me is how different they all are. I think before buying one I assumed they all did basically the same thing, just in different colours. That's definitely not true. Some are incredibly powerful, some are much gentler, some are designed for internal stimulation while others are much more about external sensation. It ended up being a bit of trial and error figuring out what I actually enjoyed.

I've realised I tend to prefer toys that focus on external stimulation rather than anything too complicated. They're simple, easy to use, and for me they're consistently the most enjoyable. I don't really understand the appeal of buying something with twenty different settings when I almost always end up using one or two anyway.

Another thing I didn't expect was how much quality matters. The cheaper options I tried were louder, felt less comfortable, and didn't seem to last very long. Spending a little more on something made from body-safe silicone was definitely worth it.

I also think they're surrounded by a lot more stigma than they deserve. There's this weird idea that using a toy somehow means something is missing, or that it's only for people who are single. I don't really see it that way anymore. To me they're just another way of getting to know what I enjoy, and I think that's a healthy thing.

One thing I've learned about myself is that toys are by far the fastest way for me to orgasm. In fact, the only ways I've ever been able to are either with a toy or with my own hand. For a while I wondered if that was unusual, but I've realised everyone's body responds differently. Instead of comparing myself to other people, I've started seeing it as simply understanding what works for me, and there's nothing wrong with that.

That being said, I don't think it means I can't enjoy that kind of intimacy with another person. I think part of it is finding someone who is genuinely interested in my pleasure too — someone who is patient, attentive, and sees intimacy as something shared rather than something that only revolves around them. Maybe I haven't found the right person yet, or maybe I just need someone who is willing to learn what makes me feel good instead of assuming they already know. Either way, I think there is something really special about being with someone who makes you feel comfortable enough to communicate what you like.

If someone asked me for advice, I'd tell them not to overthink it. Read a few reviews, start with something fairly simple, and don't assume the first thing you buy will automatically be your favourite. Everyone likes different things, and that's kind of the whole point.

It's funny looking back at how awkward I used to feel about the idea. Now it just feels like another completely normal part of looking after myself, even if it's still one of those things people don't often admit they own.