Friend Or Foe

Ever had a friend you're just not to sure about?

I have a friend (lets call her Rose) who I have been friends with for about 9 years. I have always been pretty close with her and we have played in numerous sports teams together, classes and we got together out side of school almost every week. Now we have gotten to the stage were we don't even talk to each other anymore at school. Some may put this down to just growing apart but I must admit I have intentionally be avoiding her and having as little to do with her as possible. This may sound rude and very mean considering how close we were but let me explain my side of the story.

When I'm friends with someone I think I tend to over look their flaws and think they are amazing and stuff. When I was friends with Rose it was like this in the beginning but in the last couple of years I began to see things in her that I didn't agree with. Firstly it started out with my crush at the time (lets call him Babe) . I asked what I thought was an innocent question: if you knew I liked Babe and he liked you would you go out with him? Her answer: Yes. This was a blunt wake up call and made me start paying attention to the things my friends were really doing and saying.

Now not long after this she had a 'thing' with a really good guy friend of mine (lets call him Saffa). Saffa and I had grown up together and we still tell each other a fair bit to this day. She had a rule she had made for herself that she didn't want to date in school. It was well known and she is kinda considered the goody good christian girl (we all go to a christian school so not hating on christians). I have nothing against her for not wanting to date in school but she lead Saffa on and messed with his head by making him think she had changed her mind. She was never clear about what she wanted and didnt handle it very well, resulting in him being hurt. Since I was pretty good friends with both of them at the time I heard both sides of the story and ended up getting caught somewhat in the middle. I was often explaining to Saffa what Rose meant and had to be there to support him when she hurt him.

A little while later she did almost the same thing with Babe. I was still crushing on him when they started but that changed and I eventually got over him. They were dating without the title really and she was still sticking to her story of no dating in school. They hung out just the two of them and went on dateish things as well as going to the ball together. I thought they were really cute together, don't get me wrong, but it really hurt that she didn't even consider my feelings when she started with him, she never even talked to me about it even though she knew I had a crush him. I know a lot of people (not just me) who thought that it was really weird and two-faced of her to be saying one thing and doing another.

Now days she is really good friends with these two guys who live just down the road from her (they are brothers) and the three of them do everything together. When ever we get together as a large friend group she will only hang out with them and will hardly talk to anyone else. Even the brothers parents thought she was dating one of them and asked me about it! I know the brother pretty well after growing up playing sport with them (us being among the few rep players in that sport in our year) and it strikes a nerve in me to see history repeating itself. They all claim they are just friends but no one truly believes them.

She also has a supposed guy who she is crushing on and who is crushing on her (lets call him Greek). Greek goes to another school and is a top volleyball player. He is moving to a different country at the end of the year when he finishes school and I have heard from Rose herself that if he wasn't moving they would be dating now. This is completely contradictory to what she has been saying for years and really winds me up. I have heard her talk down to and argue with people about why they shouldn't be dateing in school and now she is being a major hypocrite and pretty much doing it herself.

I would rather have people that hurt me to my face and tell me the truth than go behind my back, lie and be such a big hypocrite and not be willing to see and admit that. I understand that people's views change but thats fine, I get that, but she was so sure and so snobbish about it I can't seem to let it go. Due to her two-facedness and behaviour I thought was pretty un-friend like, I decided to put space between us before I could get hurt any more or either of us could do something to jeopardise a future relationship (should the situation change). It was really hard because it meant I had to completely change my group of friends as I no longer felt I could be around her and she was pretty much the leader of our friend group. That made these last few years of school really difficult as I had to make new friends all over again, something which I haven't always found the easiest.

Until next time 

Ginger Girl xxx