Life
Life. Death. These concepts surround us and define us.
From when we are born till when we die is our life. No matter how long or short that is, it's our life. I've just finished the first season of 13 Reasons Why. It's about a 17 year-old girl, named Hannah Baker, who commits suicide. It follows her story telling of why she killed her self and also the effects her suicide had on the people she knew. This series hit home to me like no other series has before. I'd be lying if I said I had never thought about suicide. About how much better the world would be without me in it and how my family wouldn't even miss me. I often find myself reasoning with my self about why it wouldn't matter if I was gone. How my friends wouldn't notice because they are only around me for my families money.
I don't remember the last time I was invited to someone elses house. I'm always on the outside. Of plans, gossip, secrets, friendships and parties. The most recent one to really hurt me came from my friend Shorty's party. She invited everyone in my friend group, even some I'm sure weren't as good friends with her as I am. But not me. People even avoided talking about it when I was around. On more then one occasion I noticed people stop talking when I walked in. The only reason I even knew about it was becuase one of my friend's let slip while a group of us were talking in the spa. The subject was very quickly changed but not before I realised. Even the night of the party they still tried to hide it. Shorty's best friend Barbie posted a snapchat of the party, which was taken down a few hours later. No other people posted snaps, mentioned it on instagram or facebook. They are now talking about it more freely and don't try to avoid it as much as they used to, but the damage is done. I don't know what's worse. The fact that I wasn't invited or that my 'friend's' hid it from me, together. It's the ultimate form of exclusion.
If they so obviously don't want me there what difference would it make if I wasn't here.
Until next time
Ginger Girl