Dear God

Open letter to God

Dear God

I don't know if I believe you exist. I'm trying to understand and believe but it's hard when I haven't seen you or heard from you. Where is my proof that you exist? I can listen to people tell their stories about encounters with you but how do I know that is you and not some other god? Why should I believe them over other people? I want to want you. But I can't. I read the bible like any other book, just words on a page. I love learning about it and the history but I can't understand why you do things or how you allow some things to happen to people. I feel like I should love you as it's the right thing to do and everyone around me does. I act the part and say all the right things but I feel like I don't know you.

They say you have a bigger plan and that I can't understand it and that everything that happens is part of your plan. At the same time, they say you love me but this last year has been nothing but pain. Why do you let me go through this? Is it some sort of lesson? I'm not seeing the point. You have taken the one thing that brought light to my life, that truly made me happy, the one loved and that loved me. How does that fit in with your plan? If you know my every thought and you know what I've been through. If you hear my every plea and cry for help, why does everyone I trust leave. Am I driving them away?